sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize