I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
this just has baby written all over it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
