I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
