I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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