I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
