I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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