i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
