im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
