He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
