You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
