you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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