how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
