Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
