Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need moral support for this bender
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
