Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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