We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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