I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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