Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Actions speak louder than pants.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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