pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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