I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
