Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
