remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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