There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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