As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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