i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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