great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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