Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
