I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
