i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
