just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
