Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
