Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
