i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
