Don't you send me to vm
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize