No stitches, just platelets and will power
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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