my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
