so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize