he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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