She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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