hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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