ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
