Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize