Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
