she woke up with a sticky ear
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
