Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
