How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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