im holly from the hills drunk
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
