She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
