He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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