i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
