do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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