There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just found a bag of teeth...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
