Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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