Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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