How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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