What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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