There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
