We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
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